September 2008


I don’t know if I’m still in shock or not, because I was sobbing more last time than this time.  But, mom called me and then we started skyping, and I just thought Nanny, Uncle Wandle, and Aunt Martha came up to see Pappa.  I should have realized even with the nice voice mom was putting through, that bad news was still going to come.  I held the tears for a good minute or so, but then it’s like they just came out in bursts.  I feel like I need to talk to someone, but I don’t want to.  She says Pappa wanted me to stay here…so I will.  Maybe it will make things easier.  I really thought maybe I could talk to him before he passed away.  It was quick and painless I guess.  It’s just so strange, he’s up and joking, and then just gone?  Mom says she thinks maybe his lungs filled with fluid or something, since that one collapsed.  I don’t really know what to say or do.  I mean, really, I guess there isn’t anything I can say or do.

I mean, I don’t know what everyone at home is doing…but in the end maybe it’s better this way.  I think he’ll be much happier being with grandma now, right?

Two days ago was really interesting, but yesterday I was a bit too lazy to write about it.

I got up at 11 then, and went to town with Jenny and Julia, I don’t remember why we were going exactly; but we did.  Sooo, yeah.  We went around shopping/looking for a bit.  I even tried on this dress, which was pretty cute, but I didn’t know when I’d wear it.  I love shopping here, there are no meltdowns because things somehow actually fit me!  They have my size in everything I’ve wanted to try on so far! And it’s not even the biggest size, can you believe it!?

Then I met up with Ingrid as well since I had told her we could meet for fika, but I wasn’t done shopping yet! So, she came and I ended up buying 3 pairs of shoes.  Okay, so technically I bought 2 pair, and the last one was free.  I realized I had 0 nice shoes, so I got a pair of maryjanes of some sort, ballerina shoes, and some boots.  Very nice~ haha. Oh, I forgot to mention my card gave me issues again so I went to the bank AGAIN and withdrew some cash and they said they would send me ANOTHER card.  This will be my 3rd one.  Am I doing something wrong? I don’t think so. 3rd time’s the charm!

We then ended up going to Lindex (like Windex!) which seems to be a store mostly for under garmets and the like, and I picked out some tights and leggings.  Oh leggings, how you remind me of elementary school. Haha~ But, I mostly bought those because Ingrid said the pair she bought was her best purchase thus far, though apparently she’s been wearing them lots and they’re really supposed to be used in winter, Jenny says.  But, Ingrid is from Florida, I can see why they’d be nice now!

After that we went to Storkens and got fika.  I love the Storkens special, and you can get ice cream with it for FREE! Yummm~~

Then, Jenny and I left to go find out where they sent my package.  I heard they were supposed to send it to the ICA by my building, but they didn’t and they sent it to some mail place on Skolgatan.  Which, is very much in town and very much not by my building.  So, we got there and the mail guy joked with me, especially when he brought the package. It was HUGE.  Mom, how did you expect me to carry that?!  It was so heavy too!  The bottom of it was also busting, and that was sad~ But nothing fell out except maybe some medicine because when we opened the box on a bench to empty it a bit because of the weight, I noticed my medicine thingy was destroooyed.  So, I had pills and stuff all over the place in there, I saved as many as I could find, but Im pretty sure that most of them are in the plane, on the mail room floor, or scattered throughout the US and Sweden. Oh well. :< So, I stuffed my bookbag full, along with some more bags and there still wasn’t enough room for it.  If Jenny wasn’t with me, I don’t know what I would have done!  She helped me with the box because my elbows kept buckling and that’s no good.

We then went over to Lisa and Peter’s (after a quick stop to jenny’s) because I apparently said I would go clubbing with them and promised Jenny since they were trying to hook her up with a random guy and I had to save her.  Uhm…I don’t remember promising, but since they said I did. I went.  But yes, we played a bit of guitar hero; and Jason should be happy because I passed some songs, on easy, but I still passed! Way better than what happened last time I played!  Aaand we also played Mario Kart, which I wasn’t so good at today, though I rocked last time. >>;And I picked out my costume for Halloween, which will be Little Red Riding Hood, since the Fallen Angel one only came in like a small. :<

Aaand I also met Josefin (another good friend of Lisa, peter, Jenny, Suyin, etc), who throughout the night I came to find is a really awesome person, so I think she may have erased previous bad thoughts about the name.  But, we won’t get into that.  Unless she does something douchebaggy, she’s good!  And quite amusing.  She said she was from Kalix, and at that time I was texting a friend who lives up there.  It’s a super small city in northern Sweden.  Josefin swears that everyone knows everyone, so I said the name of my friend, and she didn’t know him; but that did NOT stop her from texting and calling friends/family to see if they knew, and it turns out yes 2 of them DID know the person I was talking to.  It really is a small world, which also means I pretty much believe in that whole 6 degrees of separation thing now. Haha.

So, Lisa bailed on us and I ended up going to Värmlands with just Jenny and Josefin.  So, we danced mostly, which was entertaining I guess?  It was fun, though I don’t think this is something I’d want to do on a frequent basis.  Something about bumping into sweaty people is not so great, or having the drunk swedish girls flail and pratically start a mosh pit with you, also not fun.  Haha, but yeah there were 2 dance floors, and we randomly went back and forth between them. It was nice, and by the end Josefin ended up dancing with some guy, but Jenny and I stayed together, because we just aren’t for the whole going with random guys thingy.  And whatever if you want to dance with them, that’s fine, I assume that’s what you’re supposed to do.  But, aaaish! I hate the making out that I sometimes saw, especially making out with no dancing.  It’s like gtfo if you’re going to just stand there and suck face.

We ended up leaving and walked home, which was nice because it was nice outside, but not so nice because my feet were killing meee~ XD

When I got back to my room I stayed up to watch the presidential debates, I was exhausted, but I really thought it was important to watch, so I streamed it on cnn.com I think.  I didn’t want to go watch them in the main corridor TV room, though I believe they were on live Swedish television as well.  I know there was a recap yesterday on the news, so they probably did.  I really felt that McCain did a horrible job, which doesn’t surprise me.  I have yet to see Bill Maher for Friday night, but I’m sure it’ll be entertaining.  I mean, he kept repeating himself, not answering the questions, flat out LYING, and doing that republican smirk-laugh.  It’s so irritating to watch, not to mention he was being super condescending.  Anyone who votes for him has got serious issues, especially if they are fed up with the current administration.  You know, this election is more important so if you want to vote solely on party-lines, that’s also stupid.  Look at the issues, look at how they’re presented.  Two Monday’s or so ago McCain said that the economy was sound for example, and then the crazy crash happened.  And now he’s playing it off like he’s been worried about it for so long?  He’s a fat-cat and the Democrats need to paint it that way.  He is not fighting for the little people he is fighting for that top 1%.  I have a lot more I could say on the debates, but this probably isn’t the place.  I will say one final thing though, you can tell he’s  warmonger and that there will be more wars.  All he could talk about were the wars, no matter what the topic (not to mention the frequent use of scare tactics he was using, it’s fine in little campaigns, but you can’t use those during a debate; hopefully it backfires!) and he wants more wars and he wants to use hard power in his foreign policy, it’s ridiculous.  We can’t have someone like this. We just can’t.  If you want more of the same, or Bush Administraton part 3, by all means vote for McCain.  If you want change, please vote for Obama.  At least with Obama there is hope of something new.  And if you feel so uninformed and are too lazy to catch up on details, and won’t vote.  Then please, give me a few extra votes and vote for Obama.

ANYWAY.

The next morning I got up and “cleaned” a bit (it’s just as messy now though haha) and unpacked my box.  I got teary eyed because I don’t know, just randomly a little homesick seeing the stuff.  There were a lot of amusing things in there like the giant lollipops, the halloween decorations, the Purdue sticker and the OSU poncho (which would have been nice the first two weeks here haha).  It was nice, though I was so angry when I realized how big the box was, I really liked EVERYTHING inside it, so it was all worth it.  <33

I did laundry yesterday, since I FINALLY ran out of clothes!  Uhm, yeah the washers are different here and super small, so I had to hog three of them.  The laundry room is in building 7 (I’m in building 6) so that’s not going to be fun in the winter haha.  But, I decided to do it on a Saturday night, because people will be partying and out, and I can easily just…use the laundry facilities.  Now, the whole washer system is very strange.  I wasn’t sure how to do everything so I just kind of threw my liquid detergent into the machine like I would at home.  Well, while my clothes were washing, I came back to my room and talked to a friend who informed me that there are box things on the top that you’re supposed to put your detergent or fabric softner into.  Well, I clearly messed that up!  I’d say maybe next time I’ll get it, but I’ll need a Swede to come and explain it to me.  I think there is one slot for dry detergent, another for liquid detergent, and another for fabric softner.  However, the pictures and stuff don’t explain or tell you what to put where.  So, it’s probably best to ask a Swede before you go what everything means.  If I had a camera on my phone, I probably would have taken a picture and sent it to peter like, “What is this nonsense?!” haha.

Anyway, the dreyers aren’t AS complicated except there are 3 things you can pick.  P1, P2, or P3.  According to the picture P1 is no water, P2 had one drop so I’m assuming it was some water, and P3 had two drops, which I assume was a lot of water.  Well, next time I’m using P3.  Because I used P2 this time, and came back like an hour later and my clothes were still damp.  What the heck?  I didn’t think they were THAT wet when I put them in there, but I guess they were.  It also doesn’t say anywhere how long your clothes will be on for.  It says between 15-70 minutes.  And that’s a large span of time.  Jonatan said he usually just puts them in, and goes back in an hour.  Seems like a good plan to me.  Except yeah, P3 next time!  I did notice one machine did have the time listed, but only one~  So strange.  So yes, check with someone before you do laundry for the first time if you have no idea what hole to put the detergent in (Hello, kids from America!) or if you aren’t sure how long to keep it in there just keep it in there for about an hour on P3.  Also, don’t expect to stay down there, there are no chairs for you to keep watch over your stuff.  I guess people are more trusting here, at Purdue there are signs on our doors like, “Don’t leave laundry unattended!!!”

Oh! There is also a “hanging” dryer apparently.  I didn’t realize that until I came back and Peter and co. told me that it could be a tumbler or a hanging one, I said one was like way taller than me, and I assume that is probably a hanging one.  I was going to check it out when I came back, but apparently someone was using it at the time and it would be pretty bad of me to like…open it, check out their clothes, and mess up their settings just to see it. Haha.

Finally things are looking up.

I went to class today, the final “real class” of history.  I’m thankful for that and thankful I finished my stuuupid paper.  I was so scared when Dag looked at it and was all, “You want to turn just this in?” and gave me this “are you serious?” look.  Luckily! He was just joking. ooohoho~ Don’t do that! :O

After that I went to this kebab-pizza-place and got some pizza with SuYin~ =9 I couldn’t finish the pizza though, even though they’re thin..it was still TOO MUCH!

Aaand after that I went to choir practice and it was nice~  It’s amusing though because everything is directed in Swedish so during directions I try to pay attention to hand gestures and guess what’s going on. Haha~ Well, we’re singing some swedish and latin songs.  But, some of the swedish songs are ABBA songs, but I think they’re parodies of some sort.  Unless the swedish version of these songs are “dirty” hahaha~  I also got tested at the end of rehersal, even after the director told me to sing 1st soprano today so one of the girls wouldn’t be alone, since I didn’t know what I was for sure (I just assumed 2nd) but anyway, yes after rehersal I was tested via piano and I guess I can be 2nd or 1st soprano.  Though this Stella song is a bit difficult to sing if I do 1st soprano, but I guess it’s hard for the all-the-time 1st sopranos too.  SO, the director said I could basically pick if I wanted to be 1st or 2nd soprano.  She also said since it’s my first time doing choir in a LOOONG time (lol 4th grade) that if my voice develops and i feel more comfortable in one or the other (if I didn’t pick it) that I could switch.  So woohooo! ;DD

It’s kind of strange though, I think I have a lower talking voice compared to most girls…but I can still hit those high notes bahaha~

Oh, and before I switch topics: I might go on the choir weekend trip in October.  It should be fun, and it’s 100SEK cheaper for me since I’m a new member. 😀

And the better news of the day was a message mom sent me on skype, probably when I was either at class or practice~

“we pulled pa-pas breathing tube yesterday and he is doing well. He is all happy and talkative and kept me awake all night chatting….which is better than the alternative (not breathing at all).
[1:25:18 PM] Dee says: I have had NO sleep so I am going to lay down…nighty night  :)”

^– YAY!  I’m so happy he’s doing well off the vent.  I mean, that doesn’t fix the cancer.  But, it made me so happy to hear that he’s able to talk and all that stuff.

My new bank card came today. 🙂

Today was another failed attempt at Waffle Wednesday.  We (Miriam, Su Yeong, Wiebke, & Lisa) met at OG again, and they were “out” again.  I think it’s a filthy lie.  We’re always there at 2, when the place opens, and they’re already “out”? I think not!  So this time we didn’t go to Norrlands, but we went to Cafe Linne and got food and took it to the dock since it was so nice outside.  Not to mention it was warm! Though, 60 degrees is hardly warm, but it feels like 70 almost because I had to take off my pink jacket-thing and everything!  My chocolate muffin was even trying to melt!

I also feel that Japan is following me even here.  Though, more like otaku-ness. Which is sad, because I don’t like that.  Someone had written “Dir en Grey” and “Hentai” on the dock.  So, naturally I think “jrock otaku lulz”.

After fika, I went to a 2nd hand store with Su Yeong and Lisa for a little bit, but it seems they’re more expensive there than in a real shop — so yeah, no thanks! I didn’t like anything there anyway…kind of like how I get creepy feelings in stores like that.  Germophobe.  I realize they SHOULD wash the clothes, but I didn’t SEE them do it, so how do I know they did?

Anyway, after that I went back to Flogsta and ran into Jesper and Aleksandra in the kitchen.  Aleksandra asked, “So, any news on how Matthias is doing?” to Jesper.  And Jesper said he’s stable but would still be in the hospital for awhile.  What.  So, I was completely taken back, because I had no idea Matthias was even IN the hospital.  Texas told me later that when they saw me sobbing in the hallway and Aleksandra comforting me last night, that they felt it probably not a good time to tell me (and I suppose they’re right!) but yeah.  I guess Matthias had an accident around 4 yesterday.  He and Jesper were going somewhere and Matthias was doing something on a skateboard, fell, and well…head injury.  And I guess it was pretty bad and such.  Jesper said the doctor’s said he fractured some part of his skull.  And, tonight Jesper told us that they were going to operate because blood in his head was swelling so they have to drill a hole to release the pressure.  I guess he’s embarassed because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, but you know…accidents happen.  And I just hope he gets better soon.

He’s such a funny guy and I really like bugging him, he even said I had an “angelic smile” two days ago because he stared at me grinning so I then smiled back and was like “HI!” haha.  It was funny, to me…if you were there.  But yeah.  He’s just such a nice guy, at least we have the comfort of knowing he’s in ‘stable’ condition and not serious or critical condition.  When he gets a little more off the drugs I’ll probably try and visit him at the hospital…if I can find it.

Am I such bad luck?

So, I think I have to make my first adult decision that I haven’t really done before, or well, not this big anyway.  My grandpa was sent to the hospital about 2 weeks or so ago, having difficulty breathing.  Well, now it’s escalated to the doctors finding cancer in his chest.  Cancer that isn’t treatable via chemo.  So, yes mom said he may not make it by the time I get back.  She said my great grandpa had a similar cancer and that he was diagnosed in April and passed away in June.  To be honest, I think my grandpa would be happier.  His health has been crap since 1999 and there’s so much drama going on, I can see why he would want to quit.  But the selfish part of me just wants him to at least stay until June so I can see him.

So, I need to make the decision on whether or not to go home.  I know he would want me to stay and I know others think it’s better if I stay here.  But, I really don’t know what to do.  I don’t think I have the money and I don’t know what to do after the fact even if I do go.  Do I come back? Do I stay home?  If I go home and stay it would be more complicated on so many levels.  But, to be a dutiful grand-daughter I almost expect myself to go.

I think what I feel the worst about is how I acted right before I left.  Even though I had a feeling in my gut that I would be missing something once I return home.  Something told me inside that there was a high possibility that someone/thing would die.  I was thinking my dogs or Nanny, and Pappa came across my mind, but he was in fine health when I left.

He wanted to see me before I left and he told me to give him a call ahead of time so he could get ready and come whenever I decided to have my party.  Well the night before my party, I decided I was going to have it.  And I called him three times and he didn’t answer his phone, so I figured I’d call him the next day.  Well, on the day of my party he didn’t come because he hadn’t “gotten ready” and I was so upset because he said he’d be there before I left.  Well, the day or so before I was leaving, the day I was freaking out and packing; he called mom and made a comment like, “I guess I won’t see her before she goes.” and mom said we could stop over there.  And I said no, because he didn’t come to my party so he lost his chance.

And now I feel like the worst person ever.  That night have been the last time have the chance to see him.  I’ve talked to him since I’ve been here, but it’s just not the same…

This afternoon I ended up spending several hours in the kitchen again talking to corridormates. Mostly Jonatan, but also Jesper and Alex.  I don’t know why, but when that happens, it’s like…one of my favorite parts of the day haha~  So, Jesper let me use his left over spaghetti for lunch so I didn’t have to make my own! =9 Yumyum~ It was all healthy and whole wheat too. (Not that it matters, I totally counter-acted that later) But yeah~  Stayed in the kitchen after that and talked with Jonatan a bit who ended up drawing all over the place; on newspapers, himself, and then me. Lol~  I should know better than to let people write stuff on me, because for some reason pen ink is always so hard to get off my skin! ><  But yeah, he was all “So, do you want matching best friend tattoos?” and I was amused so I said yeah. So, we all had “BFF” written on our wrists.  Such dorks~ XD

At around 7:30 I went over to Jenny’s for the “shrimp & wine party”. Though, there was no wine.  Which is fine with me, because I don’t like alcohol.  The alcohol-free cider was yummyummy though!  So was the shrimp, until I got…a PREGNANT one!  What the heck is it with me and getting pregnant seafood?  This happened in Las Vegas too with the crayfish.  Freaking nasty! :<  So I ripped off it’s head and was all, “This feels more squishy that the others.” Then I looked at it’s underside and noticed tons of little red balls, that looked like caviar balls. NASTY.  So I was like “aaaghhh!!” and put it down. @_@;  Jenny yoinked it and took off the eggs and ate it though.  I can’t play that game, at least it wasn’t as bad as the green egg stuffs on the crayfish in Vegas. Other than that we also had bread, carrots and brownies.  I swear these girls are gonna cause me to gain all the weight I’ve lost back!  Especially this winter where I’ll be uh…not as active because it’ll be so cold!

We’re also talking about getting costumes for the halloween party. I think everyone has theirs picked out, but I don’t.  I’m so indecisive and the ones I want I can’t get because I guess they won’t ship some of the wings. :< Buuu!  But yeah I need to find something at http://www.bodega.se sometime soon.  But, what?!

Jenny, Lisa, and I went to a new mall-type place today to go shopping.  It was pretty big and I was amused because there was a coop and ICA inside, which are like supermarkets.  I mean, we have malls, but none of them have like Target, Meijer, or Wal*Mart in it. Haha.

We wandered around a bit and there were a lot of clothes that looked like they may fit me, but I was a bit hesitant to use my swedish card because it had been giving me issues, so I just wanted to find a jacket; buy it, and be done.  So, I found a nice poofy one at H&M.  It was pretty warm and Lisa and Jenny both said that it should be warm enough for winter if I have gloves and a scarf, which I will.  So I bought it! 😀  And it was the first one I tried on, no size drama!

New H&M Jacket

New H&M Jacket

After we left the store we went back into the Uppsala main-town area and looked in more stores, where Lisa bought some stuff and Jenny bought some socks. Haha~  We then decided to get some food! 😀  Well, they both wanted to go to Burger King; which I didn’t think I’d be trying here at all. Considering I don’t really like the chain too much back home, but whatever; not picky! So, we went there…my card gave me more issues, so I told them we had to go to the bank after we ate.  Anyway, the ketchup is waaay different again.  I think for the most part in the states all ketchup tastes the same (like Heinz) but here ketchup tastes like tomato sauce kind of, unless you buy Heinz at the store, which a lot of people do.

Well, we went to the bank afterwards and I told the lady my issues.  She took my card and I guess tested it and said that the black strip-thingy wasn’t working and that they’d send me a new card, which would be here in about 4 days. Well, that’s good!  The whole dealio was much easier than I was expecting.  Hopefully the new card won’t give me crap.

On a random note.  I guess Lisa and co. want a Halloween part of sorts. I don’t really know what to be. If I knew earlier, I could have shipped my Alice outfit or something hahaha~  But now I don’t know, I mean at Halloween Sweden obviously doesn’t have an abundance of costume shops like the US does.  I have black hoodies, I guess I technically could hijack Steph’s card idea. ;p

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