Alright, so yesterday was definitely a down day.  I think I’ve learned over the years to just kind of smile and try to be happy when those days happen.  But, it really hurts and kind of sucks.

So, anyway I didn’t really want to go to the choir practice thingy.  But, I figured I probably should since I e-mailed Anna and said I would.  So, I went.  And I’m glad I did.  It was the better part of my day and everyone was so nice. Anna and another girl ( I can’t remember her naaame) kept translating stuff for me when the fake-conductor was talking. I guess their usual one is sick or something. So yeah. I’ve never read sheet music and sang along, aside from in Merritt’s class but that hardly counts because it was band, not choir.  But, it was fun. I think I’m getting the hang of it, and the girls kept praising me and being so nice, which made me feel really good.

Yesterday after class I also talked with Per for about an hour outside, mostly about football. Yes, the American kind.  That was pretty exciting, yet ridiculous.  I miss that about home.  Going to the football games, or at least watching them on TV. I actually listened to the OSU v. USC game on the radio here until like 4 in the morning, or whenever half time was, the other day. Then I figured I should probably go to bed.

So, plans this week are to get waffles with Miriam at OG on Tuesday aaand go shopping with Lisa on Friday. 🙂

I still wonder if I can keep this up for a whole year though…

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With lots of stress comes a hint of homesickness. At home things are so much easier, not just from an ‘everything is in english’ standpoint, but just in general things feel easier. It didn’t help that Melissa and I were slightly getting on each others nerves earlier today that we just split up; though we may have found the reason to that later. So, at least that’s taken care of.

First I went to the orientation today at 1with Melissa and David, it was boring and rather pointless to be honest. I’m surprised they listed it as mandatory when we’ve already gone over much if not everything that was mentioned there.

We then went to Varmlands to get some brochures and info on student groups and nations. After that Melissa split off with some California kid she was talking to on the internet and I went off with Aleksandra (from Bulgaria) and Caitlin (from University of Illinois). We registered for banks, or I should say I did. For some reason if you’re here only a semester you cannot register for a bank account. At least not a checking account with a card. You may be able to at other banks but at Nordea you cannot do that. I registered at SweBank, and I was able to get my account and all that jazz set up because I’ll be here for a year. So, I’m going to wire or withdrawl money (whichever is cheaper) and put it into my Swedish bank account to pay the rent, that’s really all I’m going to use it for.

However, I need to figure out how to get my financial aid because MyPurdue is ridiculously confusing, and I can’t call and ask about it because long distance charges via phone are silly. So, my mom may have to take care of that from the state-side.

We also went and got bus passes, which will make a ride 15sek instead of 30sek, which is kind of expensive.  1 dollar is about 6.45 sek.  I thought it would be more complicated to get one, but it wasn’t thankfully.  I really need to get a bike, but the used ones are mostly bought up I believe.

So, anyway after that we went to the International Office and I turned in my pink Basic Swedish form. I’m excited to take that class, because I may not learn MUCH; but I at least won’t feel bad because I’ll be able to attempt at speaking the language. I feel so bad just going up to people and speaking English; especially older people because it appears that if you’re over the age of 30 you don’t really know any English, or if you do – you’re not willing to help out poor exchange students. Not that I blame the natives, it’s their country; I should be speaking the language. It just makes me feel bad and really frustrated that I can’t communicate to them well.

After that we went to Norrlands Nation and got burgers and fries. They were yummy, but Caitlin and I felt so ridiculous because we were trying to read the signs, and then our credit cards were being difficult, and then well…bad luck! But, in the end it came out okayish. We talked a bit and then decided to leave, and as I thought. We can’t go one day here without rain. So it was raining and I forgot my hoodie and my umbrella back at Flogsta. Well, okay it was more like “mist-raining” but regardless by the time I got back to Flogsta I was pretty soaked.

So from the bus stop to Flogsta, all less than 20 minutes I did two stupid things which made me feel like an idiot, so I just wanted to go back to my room; shower and be done with the day. So, I get back to my room and I think the Swedes all have some friends over, I don’t know, I just came back to my room. But anyway, earlier today Aleksandra said she saw some people with a shower head coming into my room when I was out to fix my shower. Well, I was expecting it to be fixed and expecting a nice shower. So I see that my shower curtain was moved so I’m all “Yay!” and then I go check…and NOTHING is fixed. It’s still super broken and the thing won’t go up on the pole and the back half is still broken off. I don’t know if they thought my complaint was just about me not getting water out of the pipe or what; because that wasn’t my complaint at all. I think the lady wrote “Shower Broken” in swedish on my complaint paper and I asked her to mention that it wasnt the water or anything that it was just the shower head not staying up on the pole, and she’s all “Nono, don’t worry about it. They’ll see what’s wrong and fix it.” Well, obviously not. So, that just angers me and continues to compliment my already sour mood.

I’m pretty tired so I figure I might as well write this up, talk to some people and head to bed early. I’d really like to bug Bear², but I think he’s out with friends and and stuff. So, yeah. Haha, he’s probably super annoyed with me bugging him, though he says he’s not. O’well~!

So, I think I’ll do some crosswords and get to bed.

I head off to Sweden tomorrow at around 1:30pm. Last night and tonight it feels as if I’ve gotten some pre-departure jitters. I didn’t want to write negative things in this blog, but I feel it only fair to give information to future travelers and to remind myself of how I felt when all of this is said and done.

I should be packing right now, but I keep getting myself sick and I don’t want to pack up anything. I think a lot of students are excited right away, and I have been for the past few months, but where as most kids feel homesick in the middle of the year, I feel it right when I leave and clearly before I leave. I know I had a meltdown of sorts for several days when I went to Purdue for the first time. Not knowing anyone, feeling like you’re alone, not having family, it’s a really stressful and lonely feeling. I know I’m over-thinking things a bit as well. Earlier this afternoon during the day I felt fine, I was talking with people currently living in Sweden and it seemed fun, but still a little scary. I don’t want to have a meltdown like I did my freshman year, but that’s what it feels like.

I’ve been crying on and off all night, giving myself second thoughts, and other negative things. I need to think positive and I don’t want my mom to see me cry. I’ll miss her the most and I think that’s what sucks. I’m trying hard not to cry and RJ has been talking with me a bit, but it’s not really making things feel better.

I get upset before I leave, but I know this is just homesickness and I will get better when I’m there. It will pass, I know this, but it doesn’t make the loneliness feel any better. Once I start meeting people, I think that’s when things will be okay.